xanthan gum

this sounded great, and i knew it had a clear theme but i couldn't pin-point more than just a vague feeling of cities, sewers and slight disgust.

wow. the imagery was stunningly beautiful. this poem was perfect but for one minor flaw i see... Being blown about On the scent of a summer breeze Blowing through the ...

the rhythm was off, so i suggest you read this aloud and omit needless words, or add them. the rhyme appeared random, which is fine, but somewhat forced - not ...

the way you said you knew how this line is awkward to me. i actually enjoyed the rhyme scheme, though the rhythm seems off-beat. sometimes the simplest rhymes actually can, ...

i just suggest you go through your writing and pick out where the writing seems forced, then fix it. i'm sure you can find it.

howling into noon-time suns with unsharpened, unthrusted knives, getting roped, dragged off by a dusty Brain locked away, there are too many syllables in these lines and it does appear ...

Bitter jazz band Swing the music I know so well I’m dancing across his life Wringing drinks above his weary head He’s a sinner And I’m woman scorned You shouldn’t ...

beautiful. would later drive you crazier, than he ever could, and (then) drag you to the cliff, where he and she stood (with) his arm on her shoulder, i didn't ...

How do expect to improve when you won't accept suggestions? We don't pressure you do change your works, but merely offer ways that we believe you can improve it. I ...

gah! you've posted this poem twice. oh well - no matter. i just critiqued it over there, instead.

As a suggestion, I would cut out a couple of the "and"s in front of the lines to make it seem less linear and more like a flowing work of ...

Okay, I hope you know that commenting back on your own work and other comments is discouraged. I mean, I admit that I've violated that "rule", as well, but I ...

Personally, I would love to critique your work if it wasn't for your previously exampled disregard for it. This site is for the growth of writing...or something like that...and the ...

For a second I click away the media I can breathe while snapping shut X’s And as I tick past windows I can’t help But wonder what I’m really worth ...

there's no definite rhythm. the lines vary from long to short, and sparatically so. oh, and change the title on the board, please. it made me unwilling to read it, ...